i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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