5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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