he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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