Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
