i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
