Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
