You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize