the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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