I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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