she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
