Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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