For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
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