I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
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the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize