How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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