Apparently you make a good broom.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
