She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
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