They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
