Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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