Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
