proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize