I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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