I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
