that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
