brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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