Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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