Porn is love you can see.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
