Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
