The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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