wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
