Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
