Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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