4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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