I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
