But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
