why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Did you pee in the oven last night??
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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