You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
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Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
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She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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