with your own penis?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
