it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
This baby is an asshole
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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