it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
