i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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