So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
