So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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