I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
