dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
