I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize