Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize