if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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