hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
