Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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