are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
