Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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