You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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