Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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