With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
