Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
