did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
