I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
