how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
And then he peed in my hair
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