the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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