i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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