yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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