i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
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Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
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It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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