Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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