So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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